Why do we say "Shut up" when we really mean "Shut down?"

        Martin Short as Ed Grimley.

       "I must say."

   Thanks for the Memories, Bob.

Is Moon River an instruction?

  The young comedy writer, 

      Allyson Manno.

Rename yourself Nougat McFleck.
This will make you popular.

    The very funny Amy Sedaris

Let's get busy, but first a nap and some food.
And another nap.  Then maybe a snack.

Are some better than any?  Are many better than most?
As usual, I'm confounded.

Isn't it about time that we improve?
You first.

Groucho to Margaret Dumont:
"Will you marry me?  Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first."

The subtext of every ad and commercial ever made is: 
Give Us Your Money.

Themselves

Flee, all is known!

You ever get the feeling that
the world is a tuxedo
and you're a pair of brown shoes?
-- George Gobel

Every time it rains, it rains.

The cyclops had perfect vision.  
It was 20.

If you're not here, you're there
and if you're not there, you're here.
Frustrating, yes?

               Just because

He knew he was getting older 
when he had a dream about prunes.

Women and men are different and use different words. 
Women like the words tiny and soft.
Men don't.

Groucho: Give me a number between one and ten.
Chico: Eleven.
Groucho: Right.